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Director Courtney Hoffman Talks Her Shatterbox Anthology Film, The Good Time Girls

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Courtney Hoffman is a renowned costume designer — she's worked on films including The Hateful Eight, Baby Driver, and Captain Fantastic, just to name a few. But with her Shatterbox Anthology project, The Good Time Girls, Hoffman is stepping directly behind the camera and making her directorial debut.

"Because I was a costume designer, I've always been a storyteller," Hoffman explains to Refinery29. "But the language that I chose to tell those stories was clothing. And now, I've stepped into just being the storyteller."

The Good Time Girls is Hoffman's take on the classic Western. But unlike the films of Sergio Leone and John Ford, women are at the heart of the film.

The movie features major stars, as well as up-and-coming actors. At the heart of The Good Time Girls are Laura Dern, fresh off the filming of HBO's Big Little Lies, and up-and-comer Annalise Basso. Comedy fans will also recognise Search Party 's Alia Shawkat and The Mindy Project 's Garret Dillahunt. Offscreen, many of the crew members were women who had worked with Hoffman on previous projects.

The Good Time Girls is currently a short film, but Hoffman already has a full-length script for a feature film, which she plans to shoot this fall. Check out our Q&A with the director below — Hoffman explains why she didn't think she could be a female director, what she learned from the project, and The Good Time Girls ' surprising connection to The Hateful Eight.

The Good Time Girls - Trailer

Refinery29: You directed and wrote the film with the AFI Conservatory Directing Workshop for Women. Can you explain a little about what the workshop is and how you got involved with it?
"The day that I said out loud for the first time that I wanted to be a director, one of my friends reminded me that we know people that have done the AFI Women's Directing Workshop, which is a tuition-free program that's harder to get into than Harvard... in order to get into the program, you needed to apply with a script and with a short film that you directed. The day that I said that out loud was the day that the applications opened, and so it was a very sort of serendipitous find.

"Having such a successful career in costume design — the last three films I designed were Baby Driver, Captain Fantastic, and The Hateful Eight — it was very hard to just say 'no' to all of that and just say, 'No, I have another dream.' And I felt like I needed a safe place, as a working professional, to be in an environment where I could explore this other idea I had. And, ultimately, [the workshop] was the place that gave me the confidence to say, 'I am 100% born to be a director.' And so I applied to the program with the scripts, the first draft of The Good Time Girls, and with a short that I directed, to get in.

"I got into the program, which I found out while I was in Atlanta doing Baby Driver. I was able to leave the movie a few weeks early and begin the program, which consists of five weeks of intensive classes... it's a place to create a community of female filmmakers who could support each other along the journey."

So it's fair to say you didn't develop an interest in directing until after years of doing costume design.
"Yes. I've been a costume designer and worked in costumes for the last 10 plus years... I've worked with an incredible handful of prolific filmmakers, including Terrence Malick, Steven Soderbergh, Tim Burton, Quentin Tarantino, and Edgar Wright. So it was through being on over 40 films and watching all these filmmakers, none of which were women. I worked with two female filmmakers in the totality of 40 films I worked on, and both of them were under a million dollar films.

"So I think for a very long time, it almost didn't click that it was a job I could do, in a way. I just didn't really think about it. And then once I did The Hateful Eight, and I really started accomplishing all of my dreams as a costume designer, I started to realise there was a ceiling for me there... I've always had very strong leadership skills. I was always getting in trouble on film sets as a costume designer for worrying about things other than costumes. And I was always told, 'Stay in your own lane!'

"And I was always like, 'I don't want to stay in my lane, because I don't care if the costumes look good if the set doesn't look good, if the hair and makeup doesn't look good.' I realised that there was sort of a pattern, that I always was really consumed by the overall picture of a film. Both that and my really close relationships with actors made me realise that I absolutely had all the makings of a director. And when I did 'come out' as a director, no one who had ever worked with me was surprised. Everyone was incredibly encouraging, and a lot of them actually ended up working on my film."

It's just one white man after another that we’re told is our hero.

Why did you decide to create a Western film? Was that the Tarantino influence of working on movies like The Hateful Eight?
"Yeah, in a lot of ways, this was my feminist response to the time period. Obviously, spending several years of my life on Quentin's sets was going to be influential. In some ways, he's like a mentor to me. But more importantly, it was my feminist response to that work.

"I really believe Westerns are America's Greek mythology. And if we look back to the origin stories of the gender roles in which we were able to be assigned, it's very limited. And if we rewrite those roles in the time period in which they were created, we can rewrite white male cowboy myths. Because, ultimately, it was from 100 years of watching Westerns that the white man became our icon as a hero. And if we go back to the origin of that, and we rewrite it, could we, as a society, believe that there is a new hero in town?

"If you think of John Wayne, and you think of 50 years of John Wayne as America's star, and then it changes to Clint Eastwood. It's just one white man after another that we’re told is our hero. By rewriting that and not just saying, 'I'm here to make a movie about women,' but 'I'm here to make a movie about women in a genre about men, and I'm here to do it within an almost entirely female crew,' that was what I wanted to do. For the rest of my career, I want to spend my time working my way through different genres, putting my female stamp on them."

I love how The Good Time Girls subverts those Western classic tropes. Going off what you're saying, revenge is a classic Western plot, but it's so much more striking when women are the ones doing the shooting.
"It's funny — like, three minutes ago, I hung up the phone with my writing partner, and we're writing the feature right now. We're on the third or fourth draft of the feature. And one of the quotes I keep going back to is this William Shakespeare quote: 'The arms are fair when the intent of bearing them is just.' And I really keep holding onto that quote and that idea.

"It's not about guns for guns' sake, and it's not about looking cool. It's like, what does it mean to go head to head in the language that men respond to? And that is the iconography of the language that we respond to. What is it like to have a showdown between a woman and a man when the roles are reversed?"

How did you assemble the film's cast? Did you already have relationships with these actors from other projects?
"Garret was recommended to me through Walton Goggins, who was in The Hateful Eight... I had written the film and was applying to the program while The Hateful Eight was premiering. And I wrote the film for Laura, I wrote it with her in mind the entire time. But I didn't know her. But I knew Bruce Dern, because Bruce Dern was in The Hateful Eight. I basically kept Bruce Dern from freezing to death in The Hateful Eight, as a costume designer.

"I was seated at [ The Hateful Eight 's] premiere next to Laura Dern. Just by chance, after applying to this program, having written this movie for her. And so I approached her, and she knew exactly who I was. And she said to me, 'My dad says that you took such amazing care of him. And because of that, I don't even think of you like a friend. I think of you like my sister.' And I was like, 'Okay, sister! Well, I wrote a movie for you, and if I get into this program, will you consider reading it?' And she not only did, but now we're developing the feature together.

What is it like to have a showdown between a woman and a man when the roles are reversed?

"After my first shoot day, I got an email from CAA [Creative Artists' Agency, which includes Dern's agent] saying that she wanted to work with me for the rest of her career and the rest of mine. I like to joke, I'll just share my muse with David Lynch, that'll be okay. Because she believed in me, and she always made me feel like I was enough.

"So then everyone else, like Annalise, who's the redhead in the movie, I did Captain Fantastic with. And because I had dressed her and been together with her for the entire film, there was just an inherent trust. And she gives a very vulnerable performance. I'm sure that I could not have gotten that, except for the fact that, people always say that the number one quality a director should have is knowing how to make an actor feel comfortable. And I always joke that my job is to get them naked within the first five minutes of meeting them. It's pretty important, as a designer, that you know how to make people feel comfortable.

"Alia Shawkat, I'm just a humongous fan of hers and just had the great fortune of her saying 'yes' when I asked her blindly to be in it. And then Garret, same thing. I didn't know him, but he responded to the part and the script, and he came on, which is just so tremendous because he is so good in it. He's such a versatile actor."

That's such a sweet story about Laura Dern! I noticed Bruce and Walton's names in the "special thanks" section of The Good Time Girls ' credits, and I wanted to ask you about their connection to the project.
"I have an incredible community of both actors and below-the-line filmmakers who believe in me, and producers who believe in me and help make this possible. And there's just a point where, when so many people make you feel like you can do it, you know you can do it. And now I just know I'm a filmmaker.'

"My first shoot day, Laura described me as 'the calmest director she's ever seen on their first shoot day, let alone their first shoot day ever.' Because it was my first shoot day on the set ever as a director. But I think it was because I felt a calm come over me, because I felt like I was finally doing what I was born to do. And there was something within that that just made me feel so settled on my own two feet. It was a really powerful experience for everyone who was there, and that was a very humbling experience for me."

How involved were you with the costume design for The Good Time Girls? Was it hard to take a step back to focus on directing and the bigger picture?
"It wasn't hard, because my assistant, Anastasia Magoutas, who's been with me on every film I've ever designed, did the costumes... Because I framed her for seven years, and we've worked together for seven years, there was a real second-hand nature to the collaboration.

"I also used a lot of the costumes that you never saw from The Hateful Eight. Fun fact: Laura Dern's actually wearing Channing Tatum's pants from The Hateful Eight. And there's all these other costumes that we just pulled and repurposed... We know the genre so well, and we've worked in it for so long that it was pretty easy, ultimately. We just knew the clothes we wanted to use.

"And I was in every fitting. I was very involved. I wasn't hands-off. But I’m not really hands-off about anything! If you look at the pictures on set, I'm practicing the blood for the bathtub, and I'm practicing the movement for the guns and the fighting. I like to be involved, and so it was a great opportunity to be involved."

Do you think you'll do more costume design in the future, or are you going to be focusing on directing?
"No. I'm done. I want Baby Driver to be the last movie I designed."

Speaking of Baby Driver, the Refinery29 entertainment team is really into Ansel Elgort right now. Do you have any fun stories from the set that you could share?
"Basically, just that you never would imagine that any costume is as hard as it is to come up with. Baby's costume being so simple, in almost a Han Solo way, was what I was aspiring towards. We probably went through 60 jackets to ultimately have to cut up a bunch of different jackets to create that one. It was probably one of the hardest costumes I've ever designed, just because it was a very hard combination of getting the studio and Edgar's vision and everything on the same page.

"One of the most fun characters to design was Jamie Foxx's character. I was very into [the idea that] that's a real guy who exists in Atlanta. And so it was very important to me to not try and mimic Black fashion and Black culture, but to actually understand it and nail it. I spent a lot of time, there's a store called Pure Atlanta that's like, the number one place for fashion in Atlanta for Black men. And I spent a lot of time literally stopping guys in the mall and making them take me to the store where they buy their jeans. So it was a very immersive and hilarious experience. His costumes were courtesy of a lot of men who made sure that I did it right. That king card sweatshirt came from Pure Atlanta. I just saw it and knew that that character thinks he's the king, and that felt like the perfect way to meet him."

The last scene of The Good Time Girls was so powerful — I love when you see her wiping away the tear. How did you decide that would be how the film ended?
"It was actually a happy movie accident! We had Laura say [the last line] a few different times. And in between one of those times, she actually had to wipe her eye, because she was just getting more and more into it. And ultimately, that last moment of vulnerability made me realise this story isn't about a woman pretending to try and be a man. It's about, how would a woman deal with this kind of emotional experience?'

"Instead of it just being about bravery or strength, part of that has to do with vulnerability. And that's why, I think, women make better heroes, because we have the dynamic ability to, in the same breath, be strong and powerful and emotionally in touch and vulnerable. And I think that in that duality comes the complexity of a female hero."

This interview has been edited for clarity and condensed.

The Good Time Girls debuts on Refinery29 UK at 5pm BST on Wednesday 2nd August.Read These Stories Next:

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This New Netflix Series Takes You Inside The Brain Of Serial Killers

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From Serial to The Keepers, we can't get enough of stories about real-life murders — and who better to tell the next one than David Fincher? The Gone Girl and Fight Club director has a new show coming out on Netflix, and it's all about what's underneath when it comes to the world's most dangerous killers. Mindhunter, dropping October 13, references real-life cases like Charles Manson and the Son of Sam to tell a fictional story starring Jonathan Groff and Holt McCallany.

Specifically, Groff and McCallany play two FBI agents who go from police station to police station to teach their techniques. More broadly, however, the show takes a deep dive into the psyche of murderers during a time when the term "serial killer" was just being invented.

"How do we get ahead of crazy if we don’t know how crazy thinks?" asks McCallany's character, a question that also seems to double as the thesis of the series. Much of what the two agents do involves getting up close and personal with people who the public views as monsters.

"It’s not easy butchering people," one of the killers says in the the trailer. "It’s hard work."

While the two agents receive pushback for what others perceive as humanising these ruthless criminals, they're adamant that the only way to outsmart a serial killer is to understand them — and that's not always pretty.

"You want truffles?" asks Groff. "You gotta get into the dirt with the pigs."

Fincher will direct a number of the episodes, as well as Asif Kapadia, Tobias Lindholm and Andrew Douglas. Executive producers include Fincher, Joshua Donen, Charlize Theron and Cean Chaffin.

Watch the trailer below!

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Survivors From Gay Concentration Camps In Chechnya Are Sharing Their Horrifying Stories

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On April 1, The New York Times reported that Chechen authorities were arresting and killing gay men. According to leading Russian opposition newspaper Novaya Gazeta, over 100 men between the ages of 16 and 50 had been detained “in connection with their nontraditional sexual orientation, or suspicion of such."

Authorities lured victims by posing “as men looking for dates” on social networking sites, and many gay men fled the region. Now, survivors of Chechnya's gay concentration camps are speaking out about the torture they endured.

A report published by the Russian LGBT Network includes testimonies from 33 gay men who are currently facing persecution. According to the report, it's likely that dozens of men have been murdered and, despite pressure on the Chechen government, detainment camps remain prevalent.

Marcos del Mazo/LightRocket/Getty Images

"One day, all my relatives were informed about the fact that I was detained. 'The Lord' came to us, the chairman of the parliament — Magomed Daudov. We were all set down before the Lord. The Lord approached us, took pictures on his phone, and asked if each of us was gay. We had to answer 'yes,' This all happened in front of our relatives," one victim said. "He talked to our relatives, saying that we brought disgrace to the nation and to our families. He told them that if they honour the traditions, they must kill us. And that if they did everything, they would not be punished for it."

Authorities told families that if they killed their gay relatives, they would not be prosecuted for the murders and many honour killings occurred as a result. One witness recounts the story of a young man who was killed by his father and uncle, then buried in the woods without a funeral.

The victim pool increased when captured gay men were threatened with death if they didn't share the names of other homosexuals.

"They threw me to the floor and beat me. They beat my chest and my face with their feet, and they hit my head against the floor. One of them said: 'Do not beat him until the shock stage, at that point he will stop feeling pain. We don’t need that,'" one survivor recalls. "They addressed me with female pronouns and demanded that I tell them the names of other gay people I knew. They threatened to kill me if I didn’t."

The Russian LGBT Network has moved 64 gay individuals to safer housing in central Russia, but the vast majority of endangered people remain trapped in Chechnya.

You can donate to the Russian LGBT Network here.

Click here to sign Amnesty International's petition urging the Russian and Chechen authorities to investigate these abductions and bring those responsible to justice.

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Rihanna Is Giving Bikes To Girls In Malawi For The Best Reason

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Rihanna's Clara Lionel Foundation has teamed up with ofo, a Beijing-based bike-share initiative, to help young girls in Malawi get to school.

"I'm so happy about the Clara Lionel Foundation's new partnership with ofo because it will help so many young people around the world receive a quality education, and also help the young girls of Malawi get to school safely, cutting down those very long walks they make to and from school all alone," Rihanna said in a statement released today.

The "1 KM Action" partnership has already sent its first set of bikes to Malawi and it will also fund scholarships for these female students through Rihanna's Global Scholarship Program.

Although 4.6 million children attend primary school in Malawi, only 8% complete secondary school. More girls drop out than boys due to a number of issues, transportation being one of them.

"We are delighted to work with Rihanna and the Clara Lionel Foundation on this innovative initiative as we are keen to help improve education accessibility for students living in poverty," ofo founder and CEO Dai Wei said in Tuesday's press release. “We believe in unlocking every corner in the world with equal access to education as well as with our bike-sharing scheme."

Rihanna visited Malawi earlier this year with the Global Partnership for Education in order to speak with students, educators and government officials about the best way to "build a better educational future for Malawians."

In a previously released video, Rihanna shared footage of her trip and spoke about the experience. "It's such a pity that they have to drop out, because they are so smart," she said. "Everybody's learning together and learning at the same pace, it seems. It's sad that has to end for some of them, because they could probably do so much if they had the resources to continue and complete."

Providing young girls with a way to get to school quickly and safely is definitely a step in the right direction.

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Money Diary: Assistant TV Producer In Bristol On 31k

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Welcome to Money Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking a cross-section of women how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last penny.

This week we're with a 26-year-old assistant television producer living in Bristol on 31k a year, although she is freelance and gets new contracts every 4-6 months.

Industry: Television
Age: 26
Location: Bristol
Salary: £31k
Paycheque amount per month: £1,930.79
Number of housemates: 1

Monthly Expenses:

Housing costs: £475 rent
Loan payments: Student loan (taken before my paycheque)
Utilities: £110
Transportation: £12 Zipcar which I hardly use, I usually cycle everywhere
Phone bill: £12 for sim only
Gym: £35.99
Spotify: £9.99
Savings: It varies but on average £300 a month

Day One

6.30am: Wake up and get my stuff ready for work. Ring my GP and HMRC the second they open at 8am (both of which I have been putting off). Eat my usual breakfast of muesli with milk and half a sliced banana with a cup of tea.

9am: I cycle to work because it's free and more fun than getting the bus.

1.30pm: I’m starting to feel hungry so I take my lentil soup to the cafeteria to heat up. Most weeks we make a big batch on Sunday, which I try to bring for my lunch at least three or four times per week. This is my second time this week (it’s only Tuesday).

3pm: I want to send something to my boyfriend's parents who have just taken us on an amazing holiday to Greece so I browse online for non-gross flowers that I can send them. I find a nice little company and select a bunch. The company is offering free delivery AND I do a sneaky google and find a £10 discount code. Result! £10

4pm: I start to feel peckish again so eat the apple I’ve brought with me. It is a B+ at best but does the job.

4.45pm: I have a splitting headache so decide to buy tea – obviously everybody else in my office jumps on the tea run so I buy four cups. £2

6.30pm: I am absolutely ravenous so leave work and cycle home in the rain. Boyfriend has bought delicious chocolate biscuits as he’s had a bad day at work so I eat three before making dinner. He has also bought gluten-free vegetable pies (one of my favourites for a super quick dinner) and I cook some broccoli to have along with them.

Total: £12

Day Two

6.30am: I wake up and cycle to the gym. Get home at half past eight and get ready for work. Breakfast is the usual – muesli, half a banana and milk, accompanied by a bit of The Handmaid's Tale (morning TV is a guilty pleasure).

9am: I cycle to work in the sun!

2pm: I take my lentil soup over to the cafeteria to heat up. Today's portion is a bit smaller than usual so I also eat a very big carrot that I brought from home.

3pm: I remember that I still haven't paid my physio for my session last week. Try not to think about this huge massive expense as I pay him online. £55

4pm: Classic afternoon hunger sets in, I eat the apple I brought from home. It's better than yesterday's.

5.30pm: My colleague gets me back for the tea I bought her yesterday and I drink this on the home run.

6.30pm: I leave work and cycle home quickly – I have a quick turnaround tonight.

6.50pm: We leave the house and walk to our friends' house for dinner. On the way we buy crème fraîche to go with the orange and almond cake that my boyfriend has made for pudding. We also get milk because we’ve run out. He pays.

11pm: It’s now pouring with rain and we are regretting our decision to walk not cycle. It's a 35-minute walk home so I cave and order an Uber, my treat. £7.41

Total: £62.41

Day Three

8.30am: I wake up later than I EVER do and begin the rush for work. Make a strawberry, orange, banana, oat, chia seed and yoghurt smoothie to take with me for breakfast and defrost some chilli and cook quinoa to take for lunch.

2.30pm: I'm getting hungry for lunch after my smoothie so I go and pick up a fork from the cafeteria and resist the temptation to buy crisps. I eat my chilli with quinoa and half an avocado. It is DELICIOUS and I'm pleased I bothered to bring it in.

4pm: I haven't booked an appointment at my doctor's in time and have run out of my pill. Therefore I waste £15 paying for six months' worth using an online doctor when I could have got it for free. True fail.

4.30pm: I've run out of apples and didn't have time to buy any yesterday so my afternoon snack is celery. It is totally uninspiring and also antisocially noisy to eat in my office.

5pm: After sending flowers earlier in the week to my boyfriend's parents, and getting such a great discount, I decide to send some to my mum because she is going through a rubbish time. I select a lovely bunch, but the discount code doesn't work!!! Gutted. Decide to send them anyway and find a much worse discount code that gives me £2 off. Still, she's worth it! £18

7pm: Get home and go to the polling station (woohoo!) followed by a trip to the Co-op to buy some dried mango, apples and an incredibly expensive smoothie for my boyfriend. Total is £6.63, I pay. I eat the dried mango on the way home.

8.30pm: Eat a delicious frittata made by my boyfriend from this week's veg box which arrived today (he pays for this and I buy the rest of the groceries we need each weekend).

10pm: Watch the exit polls and go to bed feeling pretty damn good I MUST say!

Total: £39.63

Day Four

8am: Wake up to the great news of a hung parliament. I’m feeling tired today because I couldn’t sleep for hours feeling antsy after the exit polls. It's the weekend tomorrow, though, so I drag myself out of bed to eat my free breakfast again – muesli, half a banana, milk and a cup of tea.

1pm: Time for physio – luckily I pay for physio the week after so this will come on next week’s bill. Phew! My physio also asks if I will write a short blogpost about my treatment for £10 off my next session. I of course agree and know that my future self will thank me for this saving.

2pm: I eat leftover frittata with broccoli for lunch. It's really tasty cold and I feel really smug that I’ve brought lunch in every day this week.

4pm: I do a tea run since it’s Friday and I’m feeling generous. £3

5.30pm: I accept defeat and decide to go home. I’m feeling really tired and headachey but really want to go to my dance class later so cycle back and sit on my sofa drinking lots of water to try and recoup some energy.

7pm: My boyfriend’s dad turns up (he’s staying the night with us as we are going to a family wedding in Oxford tomorrow) and we have tea before I zip off to dance.

7.30pm: Arrive at dance class and hand over a crisp fiver. My boyfriend actually just gave it to me but I will pay him back so will count it as my expense. Dance is super fun as always, and a good chance to catch up with some of my gal pals. I sweat more than I have all year because there was Bikram yoga in here just before us and the fans have stopped working…! £5

8.30pm: Get home after the very steep uphill cycle from dance and drink half a litre of sparkling water and boyyyy does it feel good. I don’t bother with dinner as it feels too late and I’m not particularly hungry.

Total: £8

Day Five

8am: I wake up and eat muesli (again!) with half a banana and yoghurt while trying to get ready for the wedding. I get my stuff ready, try to do my hair in a fancy 'do (and fail) and put on some makeup.

10am: Off to Oxford! En route my boyfriend jumps out at one of our favourite coffee shops and buys us coffee and cake (tea for me) for the journey. This is lucky as we are not fed for a very long time at the wedding!

12pm: We arrive at the wedding ceremony which is followed by the reception, which has a free bar so I don’t spend ANY money today. Woohoo!

10.30pm: Leave the wedding and my boyfriend’s dad drives us back to ours in Bristol. I am SO happy to be sleeping in my own bed.

Total: £0!!!!

Day Six

8.30am: I wake up when I hear my boyfriend and his dad arriving back from the shop. They have bought ingredients for PANCAKES! I get up and get cooking – buckwheat and banana pancakes with yoghurt, berries and maple syrup aka my dream breakfast. I eat two (they are really thick) and we have some left over so we freeze them, because they will make such a delicious toasted snack further down the line. In the future I will thank myself for this.

10am: We leave the house in cycle kit to meet our friends for a pre-arranged cycle and swim trip. We cycle 17.5 miles to Clevedon and go swimming in the sea pool. It is freezing in the water but sunny outside and I get a cycle shorts tan – unattractive but impressive nonetheless. After the swim it’s lunchtime so we go to a café on the seafront. I eat a goat's cheese and sun-dried tomato panini with chips and a hot chocolate (I’m going all out) and my boyfriend gets cheesy chips, salad and a frothy coffee as big as his face. I pay for both. £20.60

4pm: We get back to central Bristol and on the way back up to our house visit our fave coffee shop again. Boyfriend gets a flat white and some weird vegan chocolate energy ball, I get sparkling water and I pay. £6

4.30pm: Home! We feel exhausted after the 35-mile round trip and naughtily cancel on our evening engagement (which is fine because there are other people going, too). I put a wash on and we sit on the sofa and watch two episodes of Line of Duty.

6.30pm: I eat two slices of toast from the freezer and hang out the laundry.

9pm: Bedtime could not come soon enough. I sit in bed reading my new guide book to the Greek islands and fall asleep.

Total: £26.60

Day Seven

7am: Back to work! Breakfast is an orange, banana, strawberry, oat, yoghurt and chia seed smoothie, which I take to work to drink when I get in.

9am: My exec offers to buy a round of hot drinks so I get a free tea, woohoo!

1pm: I eat my lunch which is a veggie sausage, butter bean, red pepper and tomato casserole which my boyfriend made on Friday and froze half of. It’s not quite enough food so I go to the canteen and buy a Wispa. I’ve never had one before and I don’t really like it but I eat it anyway. 70p

7pm: Get home and put dinner in the oven (another delicious pie). We then walk to the Co-op to do a weekly shop as we didn’t have time on the weekend. We buy yoghurt, milk, mushrooms, kale, Quorn steaks (two packs as they are on a deal), avocados, spring greens, asparagus, frozen peas, feta, broccoli, apples, bananas, eggs. I pay. £25.80

9pm: After dinner I order a book online that I really want to read as I read a great review of it this week. £10

Total: £36.50

The Breakdown

Food/Drink: £64.73
Entertainment: £10
Clothes/Beauty: £0
Travel: £7.41
Other: £103

Total: £185.41

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Why It's Time To Start Using A Foundation Compact Again

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You probably remember them from rifling through your mum’s makeup bag when you were young (aim: putting everything possible on face), or had a brief dalliance with them as a just-found-foundation teenager. Now, you probably associate them with that chalky, cakey look. But after a brief hiatus, the foundation compact is back.

Why? Well, after a few years of pure unadulterated glow, gloss and highlight, we’re heading to the other side, where things are a little more matte and, dare I say it, flattering. At the AW17 shows – see Elie Saab and Erdem – complexions were velvety matte with foundation that was so well blended it was imperceptible. And that’s where new powder technologies come in.

Gone are the days when powder foundations sat on top of skin, clogging pores and feeling heavy; now, they're perfect for all skin types, whether oily and acne-prone (they actually absorb excess oil), dry or normal. Like the creamy foundations many of us swear by, these matte wonders also melt into skin, give that sought-after seamless finish and don’t crease in fine lines. They’re easy, too, and compact enough (pardon the pun) to take everywhere with you. Ahead are five of the best.

If you’re familiar with Vichy’s Dermablend line already, you’ll know it’s one of the best for coverage – there isn’t a blemish, scar, bruise or thread vein that this makeup line won’t disguise. Their new foundation compact is just as brilliant and perfect for those with more sensitive skin – even those with rosacea can use it without risk of irritation – plus it has an SPF of 25, so blend away.

Vichy Dermablend Covermatte Compact Powder Foundation, £20, available at Vichy

Morning after the night before? Then this one’s for you. Ingredients like peppermint and menthol leave skin feeling cool and refreshed while caffeine effectively wakes up the skin and hyaluronic acid technology helps to plump. All while giving a medium coverage without looking too overtly powdery. And yes, that is all in one compact.

Elizabeth Arden Flawless Finish Everyday Perfection Bouncy Makeup, £28, available from August at Elizabeth Arden

There’s nothing worse than flat-looking foundation and that’s something you won't get from this compact. It sinks into skin, masking blemishes but without feeling too heavy, thanks to an ‘elastic gel’ technology that means it goes on creamy and dries to a powder. You’re left with a velvety face.

YSL Le Compact Encre de Peau, £40, available at YSL

You don’t get much more flawless than this oil-free powder; it gives great full coverage (good for nights out and bad skin days) but feels like there is nothing there. Bobbi Brown is also fairly good at getting an assortment of shades out onto the market to suit different skin tones.

Bobbi Brown Skin Weightless Powder Foundation, £36, available at Bobbi Brown

Every makeup artist under the sun swears by Armani’s Luminous Silk liquid foundation to create the perfect base; the compact is no different. Within the powder are silky ‘fillers’ which blur and even out uneven skin, while ensuring it stays firmly in place for at least the day (unless you’re more oily, in which case expect to touch up on occasion).

Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Powder, £38, available at Giorgio Armani

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Ditch The Denim & Switch Up Your Summer Look With These Skirts

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There tends to be a focus on dresses come summertime and with this season's offering (patchwork, polka dot, slip and wrap, to name just a few), we understand why. Yet warm-weather wardrobes needn't be restricted to one piece of clothing – no matter how versatile – which is why we're zoning in on the skirt.

Often labelled as either dowdy or flirty, the skirt gets a bad rep. It's been making waves since the '50s, when below-the-knee circle skirts were worn by wholesome girl-next-door types à la Sandy in Grease. The Swinging Sixties brought rebellion to Carnaby Street in the form of the daring mini, which sat seven inches above the knee and signalled the changing attitudes of that decade's youth. A-line skirts ushered in the '70s, with fabrics like cord and suede becoming synonymous with bookish women like Love Story 's Ali MacGraw, while the '80s brought more questionable shapes – think Bananarama in ra-ra and puffball skirts (these made an unfortunate return in the early noughties, paired with giant belts...).

And now? Well, the skirt sits nicely in any wardrobe, thanks to the variety displayed on SS17's catwalks. The midi has been freed from its librarian shackles, while the mini no longer hints at teens climbing out of bedroom windows with a bottle of their parents' rum. Prada gave black satin skirts a utility update with belts and bumbags, Tory Burch proved the skirt could take centre stage with a dose of embroidery, and Altuzarra's frilled, fruity offerings made us long for a summer on Copacabana beach. Ashish paired political slogan T-shirts with full, layered ankle-grazers, while Toga, Topshop Unique and Osman showed us just how powerful a skirt-and-shirt pairing can be.

We're wearing ours with band tees, poplin shirts and boxy jackets, and pairing minis with flats and midis with heels for proportion play. There is no one style out there right now: fabrics range from patent to patchwork denim; there are pleats, ruffles, and waterfall hems, plus metallics, florals and gingham galore.

It's time to welcome back the skirt: click through to see our favourite minis and midis.

Mango Interwoven Cord Skirt, £15.99, available at Mango

Off-White Pleated Panel Skirt, £495, available at Farfetch

Weekday Brenda Skirt, £40, available at Weekday

Light Before Dark Vinyl Buckle Mini Skirt, £42, available at Urban Outfitters

Maggie Marilyn Composed Ruffled Striped Cotton-Poplin Mini Skirt, £415, available at Net-A-Porter

Reformation Delia Skirt, £113, available at Reformation

Uterqüe Pink Leather Skirt with Ruffled Trims, £175, available at Uterqüe

Victoria, Victoria Beckham Patchwork Denim Mini Skirt, £225, available at Net-A-Porter

Topshop MOTO Black Midi Denim Skirt, £34, available at Topshop

Dodo Bar Or Ruffle-Trimmed Printed Mini Wrap Skirt, £315, available at Net-A-Porter

Warehouse Mica Carnation Skirt, £46, available at Warehouse

Zara Pleated Midi Skirt, £49.99, available at Zara

Rejina Pyo Freya Check Gathered Buttoned Skirt, £515, available at Rejina Pyo

& Other Stories Painted Dots A-Line Skirt, £59, available at & Other Stories

Molly Goddard Ruffled Gingham Skirt, £302, available at Browns

Finery Belshaw Fold A Line Skirt, £75, available at Finery

Christopher Kane Midi Pleated Skirt, £995, available at Farfetch

ASOS WHITE Asymmetric A-Line Skirt, £39, available at ASOS

Ganni Dufort Silk Skirt, £295, available at Ganni

COS Knitted Skirt with Pleats, £69, available at COS

Preen Line Vivian Check-Print Crepe Skirt, £280, available at Selfridges

Lazy Oaf Black Zebra Print Zip Skirt, £60, available at Lazy Oaf

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Couples Are Staying Together Just To Buy A House

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Well, this is pretty rubbish; apparently 1.8 million UK adults have stayed in a relationship in order to get on the property ladder.

Yep, buying a house is now so hard that some of us are willing to sacrifice our happiness in love to try and get one.

A new report from L&C Mortgages is behind the study. They reckon, more terrifyingly, that over the next five years, as house buying gets harder, this number is only set to rise. Currently, they say, one in 10 people would consider staying in an unhappy relationship if it meant that they could buy a house.

To be fair, for a lot of us, the mortgage situation is a million miles off. But this problem persists for renters, too. Living situations have got so expensive, it's hard not to start thinking tactically. Even in the rental market, there's a jolly good chance you know people who are staying together because they can't afford a deposit on a new place, or paying for a single room when they've been splitting a double. Then there are the couples that have broken up but who are still living under the same roof for similar reasons.

So what's the answer? Well, sadly, until housing becomes more affordable – which, let's face it, might be never – the only thing you can do to protect yourself is to stay savvy. If you do buy a house with someone, make sure contracts are drawn up and both of you are very, very clear about who walks away with what in terms of ownership. Has the other person been paying rent? Or been contributing to the mortgage? These are not questions you want to answer in a time of emotional turmoil.

For renters, it's about saving. Something easier said than done for many of us. Putting a little aside every month if you can means that, in the event of a break-up, moving into a new place could be SO much easier. No one wants to spend time begging parents, pulling extra shifts and sleeping on the couch in the aftermath of a devastating split.

"It’s so important to think clearly when it comes to such a large financial leap, especially if you’re planning on staying in a relationship just to be able to afford a mortgage or deposit," David Hollingworth from L&C Mortgages says. "Initially putting your feelings aside solves the problem of being able to get onto the housing ladder, but once the deposit has been paid and the mortgage agreed you may face issues down the line.”

And that's today's lesson in adulting over. God, growing up is hard, isn't it?

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Kate Moss & Co Cover Alexandra Shulman's Last Vogue Issue But What Can We Expect From Edward Enninful?

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The September issue of a fashion magazine is always the most eagerly awaited as it offers the biggest edition, packed with a first look at next season's trends, directional shoots, celebrity features, exclusive stories and the best advertisers. But for British Vogue, the September 2017 issue, unveiled today and out on Friday, is particularly special as it marks the last ever issue from former editor-in-chief Alexandra Shulman, who left at the end of June after 25 years at the helm.

Vogue veterans, supermodels Kate Moss and Stella Tennant are joined on the cover by relative newbies Nora Attal, Jean Campbell and Edie Campbell, all wearing Alexander McQueen and captured by Mario Testino. The cover story was styled by former Vogue fashion director, Lucinda Chambers, who shockingly announced that she was fired by Edward Enninful, after 36 years at the title, in a controversial interview with Vestoj, published at the beginning of July.

This morning, Alexandra Shulman took to Instagram to proudly share the image, accompanied by the caption: "So excited to receive my final issue of Vogue as Editor-in-chief. Filled with fashion and memories and the women who made a difference in the past quarter of a century. Thanks for starring on my last cover by @mariotestino @sammcknight @valgarland @jean_campbell @ediebcampbell @stellatennant @noraattal @katemossagency #lucindachambers @alexandermcqueen @britishvogue."

While Moroccan-born model Nora Attal (who you may recognise from the J.W.Anderson x Uniqlo campaign) makes her British Vogue cover debut, this marks the 33rd cover for Kate Moss, who was recently announced as one of Edward Enninful's new contributing editors to the magazine. It makes sense that Shulman's last issue would reflect on her reign over the past quarter of a century, with a cover that celebrates the past, present and future with a range of models both established and emergent. But perhaps it also reaffirms Shulman's narrow vision for a magazine, which has been distinctly unrepresentative for far too long. Yes, it may feature one Moroccan model but aren't we sick to death, in 2017, of seeing white, willowy models on the front of the magazine? Of all the British Vogue covers this year, including Alexa Chung, Gigi Hadid, Amber Valletta and Kate Moss (again), there has been next to no diversity, bar the February issue which featured Egyptian/Moroccan model Imaan Hammam on a shared cover with Taylor Hill and Anna Ewers. I need not remind you that just two years ago, in 2015, Jourdan Dunn graced the front of the February issue of Vogue and was the first black model to have a solo cover in 12 years, since Naomi Campbell in August 2002.

Quite frankly, the appointment of Edward Enninful, who has long challenged the industry with directional, compelling imagery and a genuine, unapologetic promotion of diversity, is long overdue. While focus today might be (fleetingly) on Shulman's swan song, yesterday marked Enninful's official first day as editor-in-chief; his first magazine will be the December issue. So what can we expect from the 45-year-old man feted to transform the face of Vogue?

Yesterday Enninful explained: "I grew up reading British Vogue – I am so honoured and humbled to be taking up the mantle of editor... I realise I am stepping into the shoes of a hugely respected editor in the shape of Alexandra Shulman, someone who has chosen to leave at the top of their game with a legacy of 25 years of success... British Vogue is a great magazine with a legacy of creativity and innovation. I look forward to continuing to produce an exciting beautiful magazine for its readers."

Enninful has hand-picked an impressive team from across the industry to help him bring these plans to fruition. Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell and film director Steve McQueen were announced as contributing editors, while legendary fashion and creative director and British Vogue alumni Grace Coddington also joins as a contributor. Supermodels and Oscar-winning filmmakers are all well and good, but what about the actual editorial team tasked with driving the magazine forward? Well, Johan Svensson, formerly design director at W, where Edward also previously worked, has taken up the position of creative director, replacing Jaime Pearlman. Claudia Croft, previously at The Sunday Times, was appointed acting fashion features director, while Anders Christian Madsen, former fashion features director at i-D joins as fashion critic. Olivia Singer, previously fashion features director at AnOther was named executive fashion news editor and super-stylist Venetia Scott, who has worked for titles including i-D, The Face, AnOther and Vogue Italia joins as fashion director. Considering Vogue has for a long time catered to and been created by white, middle-class women, Enninful's dynamic new team, carefully selected from fashion's edgier, more directional titles, will certainly shake things up.

Day One !!! Thank you @stellamccartney for the Major balloons xoxo

A post shared by Edward Enninful, OBE (@edward_enninful) on

It will be interesting to see how Edward's new team, featuring a number of men in senior positions – namely Svensson, fashion editor Jack Borkett (formerly at i-D, W and Hero), Anders Christian Madsen and of course Enninful himself – will change the tone of the somewhat stagnant women's magazine.

While Enninful has championed diversity throughout his career, which will undoubtedly open British Vogue to a considerably wider audience, his close-knit circle of A-list friends including Rihanna, Bella Hadid, Michelle Obama, Naomi Campbell, Katy Perry and Adwoa Aboah will provide the magazine with unparalleled access to the biggest names in not only fashion but music, film and politics. The number of celebrities who took to social media to congratulate Enninful on his appointment was certainly testament to his pop culture status and influence, and recognised the significance of hiring a black, gay man to lead one of the world's most influential publications.

While the full print team appears to have been assembled, few details have been announced regarding any changes to the digital team, though yesterday the magazine launched on Snapchat Discover, suggesting Enninful is keen to re-engage Vogue with a younger, millennial audience.

Condé Nast International chairman and chief executive Jonathan Newhouse referred to Enninful as "an influential figure in the communities of fashion, Hollywood and music which shape the cultural zeitgeist," adding that "by virtue of his talent and experience, Edward is supremely prepared to assume the responsibility of British Vogue."

Enninful certainly has the credentials, commitment and contacts to make sure British Vogue is the aspirational, representative, informative and industry-leading title that it ought to be. Forget the September issue; there are just three months until the most eagerly anticipated magazine of the year is revealed.

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This French Fitness Instagrammer Just Made A Powerful Point About Body Image

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Body positivity and self love – no, not that kind – are all the rage among a subset of Instagrammers at the moment. They're the ones opening up about the "flaws" that ensure they don't conform to society's impossible beauty standards. The trend is obviously great news for all of us – the more varied and unedited bodies we see represented, the easier it is to silence our own self-critical internal monologues once and for all.

But, for many of us, maintaining a positive body image is easier said than done. It's just not realistic to love everything about ourselves at every moment of the day. So, we're grateful for one fitness Instagrammer's reassurance that we're not letting the side down with our niggling negative thoughts.

⚡️ I am guilty. I am here to always be completely honest, because I feel social medias need more of it. | As much as I preach self love and truly made some progress accepting myself, there is something I really struggle with : pictures 👀 Whenever I see a picture of me, the first things which catches my eyes are my FLAWS. I always see what is wrong. "Too close". "My nose appears too big." "My legs look too white". "I look terrible" This is usually what follows when someone show me a picture they took of me 🤔 YET, I really do not look at people's flaws first when I look at a picture of someone else ! On the contrary, I tend to focus on their assets ❗️So why not do the same with yourself ? We really need to learn not to be so harsh on ourselves. It is not healthy. I am going to work on it, and I hope you will too. 💛 _____________________________________ ⚡️ Je plaide coupable. Vous savez que l'honnêteté est une valeur que je chérie; et je trouve que ca manque sur les réseaux sociaux. | Malgré que je prêche l'acceptance et l'amour de soi et que j'ai fait de réels progrès sur le sujet, il y a quelque chose avec lequel j'ai toujours beaucoup de mal : les photos 👀 A chaque fois que je vois une photo de moi, tout ce que je vois en premier sont mes défauts. Je vois toujours ce qui ne va PAS. "Trop proche" "Mon nez paraît trop gros" "J'ai l'air trop blanche" "Supprime" : ce sont généralement mes premières réactions après avoir vu une photo de moi 🤔 Pourtant, ce n'est pas du tout comme ça que je réagis quand je vois une photo de quelqu'un d'autre ! Au contraire, j'ai plutôt tendance à voir leurs atouts ❗️Alors pourquoi je l'applique-t-on pas à nous-même ? On doit vraiment apprendre à ne pas être aussi dur envers soi-même. Ce n'est pas sain. Je vais travailler dessus, et j'espère que vous aussi. 💛

A post shared by Louise| PARIS |Thinker & Maker (@mybetter_self) on

Louise Aubery recently shared a split-image photo with her 50k followers to highlight the stark disconnect between how others see us and how we see ourselves, and remind them to "not be so harsh" on themselves.

The post shows two identical images of the Parisian science student, with arrows pointing out the difference between how others see her and her own body image. In the first, she emphasises her "big nose", "back fat" and "cellulite", while in the second she focuses on her "big smile", "long legs" and "strong butt".

"I am here to always be completely honest, because I feel social medias need more of it," she wrote in the accompanying caption. "As much as I preach self love and truly made some progress accepting myself, there is something I really struggle with: pictures. Whenever I see a picture of me, the first things which catches my eyes are my FLAWS.

"I always see what is wrong. 'Too close.' 'My nose appears too big.' 'My legs look too white.' 'I look terrible," Aubery continued. Yet, when she looks at pictures of other people, their flaws are by no means the first thing that spring to mind.

"On the contrary, I tend to focus on their assets. So why not do the same with yourself? We really need to learn not to be so harsh on ourselves. It is not healthy. I am going to work on it, and I hope you will too," she added.

The post has received more than 8,000 likes at the time of writing, with many commenters praising Aubery for her candour and saying they regularly have similar thoughts. "I totally saw ALL your assets when I glanced at this pic, but then when you started using all the negatives about yourself, I was like 'That's exactly what I do when I look at pics of myself,'" one wrote. "Thanks for the lesson in self-love!"

Aubery has preached similar messages of body positivity in previous posts on her Instagram account, @mybetter_self, with one of her key points being that self love must come from a place of self acceptance.

🌈 I used to be terrible at self love. First, because I felt like I was not good enough / pretty enough / confident enough. Second, because I actually did not like confidence. Or rather, confident people. How could someone actually feels so good about oneself ?! Wasn't there something he / she could improve ? How could he / she be satisfied with what it had ?? It must have been narcissism 🌞 Breaking news : its not. Well, some, probably. But loving yourself actually comes from ACCEPTING yourself. You are incredible YOUR WAY. And that does not mean you can not improve ! You can. But to do so, acceptance & self love must come first. Because these will support you whenever you feel down. It will prevent you from despair, wishing you were different, giving it up 💃🏼 I have one little thing to ask you : practice self love every morning right when you make up. Just think to yourself : I am enough. And repeat it every morning. It will makes it way ❤️ _____________________________________ 🌈 J'ai toujours eu beaucoup de mal avec la confiance en soi. D'abord, parce que j'ai toujours pensé que je n'étais pas assez bien / assez jolie / assez confiante. Et deuxièmement, parce que je n'aimais en fait pas la confiance en soi. Ou plutôt, les gens qui avaient confiance en eux. Sérieux, comment pouvait-on être aussi content de soi-même ?? N'y avait-il pas quelque chose qu'ils pouvaient améliorer ? Comment pouvait-ils être si satisfait de ce qu'ils avaient ? Ca devait forcément être du narcissisme 🌞 Et pourtant : ça ne l'est pas. Enfin, pour certains, surement lol. Mais S'AIMER, et oui il faut oser dire le mot, viens en fait tout simplement par S'ACCEPTER. Car vous êtes incroyable à votre façon. Et ca ne signifie pas que vous ne pouvez pas progresser ! Vous pouvez. Mais grâce à cette acceptation, vous pourrez tenir dans les moments plus difficiles, quand vous recommencer à vous comparer, ou à vouloir abandonner 💃🏼 J'ai juste une petite chose à vous demander : demain, réveillez vous, et pensez très fort : Je suis à la hauteur. Et répétez-le le matin d'après. Ca fera son chemin ❤️

A post shared by Louise| PARIS |Thinker & Maker (@mybetter_self) on

Positive body image is all about readjusting our thought processes over time, she told Metro.co.uk: "The mind is what can help us most. We underestimate our ability to send it signals and influence our behaviour. It can’t happen in one day and it all comes down to practice: waking up telling you three things you are grateful for today, stating one thing you like about yourself every time you caught yourself despising something, and actually talking about it with like minded people and engage with positive influencers on Instagram."

"But you’ve got to be willing to work on it! It is primordial to overall happiness," she continued. What better time to inject some self love into our own thinking than the present?

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NASA Has A New Job Opening For Someone To Protect Earth From Aliens

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NASA is recruiting someone to protect Earth from alien contamination – and the perks are out of this world. Not only will the successful candidate earn the esteemed job title of "planetary protection officer" but they will also receive a salary of up to $187k (around £141k), plus benefits.

But the job's probably not for you if you prefer an easy life. It will also involve ensuring that Earth doesn't contaminate the alien worlds we're trying to explore, Business Insider reported. Other space agencies employ people to do a similar role, but the NASA post is one of just two full-time positions in the world – the other being at the European Space Agency.

"Planetary protection is concerned with the avoidance of organic-constituent and biological contamination in human and robotic space exploration," the job spec reads. The post was created after the US signed the Outer Space Treaty of 1967, which pledged to study and explore outer space while avoiding "harmful contamination and also adverse changes in the environment of the Earth resulting from the introduction of extraterrestrial matter.”

The candidate will be responsible for implementing policies during NASA space flight missions which "may intentionally or unintentionally carry Earth organisms and organic constituents to the planets or other solar system bodies," as well as "any mission employing spacecraft, which are intended to return to Earth and its biosphere with samples from extraterrestrial targets of exploration.”

The successful candidate can hold the post for three years, with the possibility of a two-year extension, and they would work from Earth to guard against potential contamination from planets like Mars, which scientists have suggested was possibly once covered in water and able to support life. The planetary protection officer would need to protect us from any life that may exist on the red planet now.

Candidates must be US citizens or US nationals and have at least a year's experience in a top-level civilian governmental role, an advanced degree in physical science, engineering or mathematics, and “advanced knowledge” of planetary protection. We would hope so.

They also need to show leadership and diplomacy skills that will come in handy "during extremely difficult and complex multilateral discussions”. So before you get cracking on your application, it's probably worth taking some time to planet.

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Bus Seats Mistaken For Burqas By Anti-Immigrant Group

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Members of a Norwegian anti-immigrant group have been left with egg on their faces after one of them awkwardly mistook a photo of empty bus seats for Muslim women wearing burqas. Really, it's as ridiculous as it sounds.

A man shared the image to the private Facebook group Fedrelandet viktigst (which translates as Fatherland first), with the caption “What do people think of this?” which paved the way for a barrage of Islamophobic comments. A screenshot of the post has since gone viral and been mocked around the world.

More than 100 people commented on the post, with some loathsome individuals labelling the bus seats "scary", "tragic", "frightening" and proof that Norway should ban burqas, The Local reported. Others were freaked out by the possibility that the "women" could be carrying "weapons and bombs” beneath their garments.

“Get them out of our country, those who look like collapsed umbrellas. Frightening times we are living in,” one commenter wrote, while another chimed in: “I thought it would be like this in the year 2050, but it is happening NOW!!!!" reported The Local.

The Norwegian government proposed a ban on burqas and other face-covering veils in June, which would bar them from kindergartens, schools and universities if the move passes. The full-face veil is already banned or restricted in public places in other European countries including France, the Netherlands, Belgium, Bulgaria and the German state of Bavaria.

The private post came to light after Sindre Beyer shared a screenshot on Facebook. “What happens when a photo of some empty bus seats is posted to disgusting Facebook group and nearly everyone thinks they see a bunch of burkas," he said.

Johan Slattavik, the man who originally posted the photo, denied he mistook the bus seats for women, however, reportedly telling WorldViews in a Facebook message that it was all just "a little practical joke" because he was bored. “I laid out the photo to see what happened. I ended up having a good laugh.” May we recommend he try birdwatching or calligraphy next time?

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This Is What It's Like For Girls Growing Up In Gaza

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When we think about Gaza, the strip of Palestinian territory to the east of the Mediterranean Sea, it’s conflict and casualties that first come to mind. The self-governing state has been at war with neighbouring Israel for around 100 years, a seemingly intractable deadlock where violence and bombings flare up more or less every couple of years.

If you live in the Gaza Strip, life is limited by a number of factors. Your freedom of movement is restricted: it’s almost impossible to leave the 25-mile long and 3 to 7-mile wide piece of land, which is among the most densely populated areas in the world. Food, welfare and power are in short supply. And you live in constant fear of resurgent danger. This week, for example, news reports suggested that another war is brewing between the two states, after a Palestinian boy was killed on the border, and after Gaza’s governing body Hamas fired two rockets into Israeli territory. Last time there was a war, in 2014, more than 2,300 Palestinians were killed and 17,000 injured.

American photographer Monique Jaques first travelled to Gaza in 2012, to cover the war that was raging at the time. Working as a photojournalist for publications like The New York Times and The Economist, she was sent there to report, just as she would anywhere else. But after staying with a local family, she started to see a different story: “I felt like there was more to be said about Gaza,” she explains over the phone from Istanbul, where she is now based. “What was always reported in the media was the same aggressive war porn, but the people deserved more.”

Yara and her brother waiting for their father to return with schwarma as an evening treat after a recent conflict ended.Photo courtesy of Monique Jaques.
Hours after a ceasefire was declared between Hamas and Israel, the people of Gaza City begin to rebuild. Shops open and families go out to witness the damage incurred by the recent strikes.Photo courtesy of Monique Jaques.

Monique started photographing the lives of young women for her project Gaza Girls, which is currently being Kickstarted into a book format (you can check it out here). Talking to these girls about how difficult it is to grow up in the country, she learnt that while there’s limited water and electricity, and unemployment is extremely high, for a woman, life is even harder. “I wouldn’t want to gloss over the war,” she expresses, “but by focussing on other aspects of the life there, and a group of people who are mostly hidden, I wanted to offer a powerful look at a world that’s unseen by many.”

Doaa in a friend's bedroom. Girls that are unmarried have few places to be themselves. Bedrooms and private cars are sanctuaries where girls can sing and dance without being judged by the public, or their own families.Photo courtesy of Monique Jaques.

A lot of what affects the lives of girls in Gaza isn’t just to do with conflict or violence, but a society that is extremely controlling and conservative, explains Monique. “The culture is tight and watchful, there’s a certain amount of decorum around what’s done. Girls can do sports and other activities until they’re ready to get married, for example, then they have to stop because of family pressure. But a lot of these girls push and fight that in any way they can, which is super inspiring to watch.”

Girls play football in the northern Gaza town of Beit Lahiyah. Women in Gaza typically do all types of sports 'til the age of 16, when family pressure forces them to stop as many families seek to find husbands for them.Photo courtesy of Monique Jaques.
Yara and her friends prepare a dance number during a blackout. Fuel is scarce in Gaza and many families only receive six to eight hours of electricity a day.Photo courtesy of Monique Jaques.

Take Hadeel, who Monique photographed singing in a recording studio. She’s one of the few female singers in the country, the photographer explains, because Hamas does not encourage it. “Hadeel really wants to leave Gaza and sing elsewhere to expand her talent, but because she can’t leave it’s very difficult for her to grow as an artist. Still, she’s working with what she has and trying different things.”

Hadeel Fawzy Abushar, 25, records a song in a studio in Gaza City. Few female singers remain, as families and local government look down on the practice. Hadeel started when she was 12, as all of her sisters are singers.Photo courtesy of Monique Jaques.

Monique met Sabah, an aspiring professional surfer, when she was 14, and photographed her and her younger sister in the Mediterranean Sea, doing what they loved. Like Hadeel, Sabah was never able to leave Gaza to surf anywhere else and on Monique’s most recent trip to the state, just last week, she learnt that Sabah is now married and pregnant. Before the wedding, her family had to ask her to stop surfing.

For many Gazans, the sea is the only place they can be without being reminded of their isolation. Female surfer, Sabah Abu Ghanem, 14, and her sister surf early in the morning outside of Gaza City. The sisters place first in many competitions inside the Strip, but have never left the Gaza Strip to compete.Photo courtesy of Monique Jaques.

“I saw and continue to see so much of myself in these girls,” says Monique, “they have this desire to travel and explore and to be independent like I did at their age, but while in the rest of the world we might get to discover those dreams, and live them out, they can’t. The only way you can leave is if you have a medical reason approved by the Israeli government, or maybe if you get a scholarship to a foreign university. The psychology of that makes the normal progression of girlhood into womanhood very difficult.”

Looking at Monique’s photos, one thing that’s surreptitiously missing is boys and men. Dating is another tough area for teenage girls, she explains. Decorum states that you either have an arranged marriage, or invite a boy’s mother to meet your family and ask for your hand before starting a courting process. Before that, going to a restaurant or having coffee with a man who is not in your family could get you into serious trouble. “A lot of that has changed because of social media though,” explains Monique. “They might meet in school, text, and then arrange a further meeting – but it would be short and they’d have to tell their parents they were doing something else. To be caught socialising with a man would be considered improper.”

Medical students from Islamic University on break in the maternity ward of Al-Shifa Hospital in Gaza.Photo courtesy of Monique Jaques.
At a salon in Gaza City women come to get their hair, nails and makeup done before weddings. In many families, a woman is not allowed to be seen without a veil by a man outside of her family, so beauty salons are for women only.Photo courtesy of Monique Jaques.

By going back and forth to Gaza over five years, Monique has been able not only to follow the girls as they grow up, but to chart the political and social shifts in the area over time. She says that on her most recent trip, the girls told her that life right now is the worst they’ve ever known, except for during active wartime. “There’s an electricity crisis, and that changes your whole routine – you can’t charge your phone, you can only do laundry once in a while. It’s taxing on you as a person to schedule your life around that,” Monique explains. “Some of the middle-class families have generators but even those don't run all the time as it's far too expensive.”

On this trip, Monique saw first-hand how the shortages, along with extreme heat, made it difficult for a lot of the girls she knows in Gaza to make it through the day. Her concern for the future is that if the political situation in the area worsens, the girls will lose hope: “Though they are the most resilient group of girls I've ever met, I do worry about them all the time.” However, if the project has taught her anything, she says, it’s just how strong people can be in the toughest situations for the longest duration of time. “These girls are tenacious, inspiring and determined, I hope the photos capture that.”

Check out the Gaza Girls: Growing Up In the Gaza Strip Kickstarter and donate here.

Girls watch the sunset at the harbour in Gaza City. While living in Gaza is undeniably tough, being a woman there is harder.Photo courtesy of Monique Jaques.

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NSFW: Watch Laura Dern's Latest Vengeful Mother Role In This Short Film

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The Good Time Girls

We already knew that Laura Dern was no stranger to playing protective mothers. This past spring, she dazzled alongside Nicole Kidman and Reese Witherspoon as Big Little Lies' high-powered executive, Renata Klein — a familiarly overstretched working parent desperate to catch her daughter Amabella's mysterious bully. Now, she's giving that archetype even greater visibility, teaming up with Refinery29's Shatterbox Anthology director Courtney Hoffman for The Good Time Girls — a blood-soaked Western that subverts all our old expectations of this dude-centric genre.

The Good Time Girls doesn't just turn the camera on the Western's often-overlooked female characters it replaces the pistol-touting storylines glamorised by John Wayne or Clint Eastwood with narratives told and motivated by the women at its centre. The result is a deeply layered portrait of revenge that feels like a feminist Shakespearean tragedy, fuelled with one mother's burning desire for justice at its core. Set in a forlorn desert brothel, Hoffman's tale focuses on Clementine, played by Dern, and her tenacious thirst for vengeance against the Rufus Black Gang — a roving band of outlaws that murdered her daughter. Joined by Arrested Development and Search Party favourite Alia Shawkat and breakout Hollywood up-and-comer, Annalise Basso, Clementine's hatched a masterfully devious plot to get even, rifle-in-hand. And trust us, that bathtub scene doesn't leave us with any questions about exactly who's running Hoffman's Old West.

Check out The Good Time Girls above. We promise you've never seen a film about women quite like this one.

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Florida Has Confirmed A Case Of Zika Transmitted Through Sex

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On Tuesday, the Florida Department of Health confirmed the first case of sexually transmitted Zika in 2017.

According to the Department of Health's website, the case was confirmed in Pinellas County, and while the person who contracted Zika had not recently traveled anywhere, their partner had traveled to Cuba, and showed symptoms consistent with the virus. Both partners tested positive for Zika.

The case, the health department says, is a reminder that Zika can be sexually transmitted — previous research suggested that the virus could reside in men's semen, pointing to how it may be spread. Zika can also be spread from infected mosquito bites, though the Florida health department emphasised that there is no evidence of Zika by mosquito in any area of the state.

For the most part, people have contracted the virus by traveling to affected areas, though there was a number of cases in which people acquired it from local mosquitos in Florida last year.

According to the CDC, most people who have Zika won't show symptoms, but those who do may experience fever, rash, headache, joint pain, conjunctivitis, and muscle pain. Once a person has been infected, the CDC says, they are likely to be protected from contracting it again. Symptoms are generally manageable, and the virus should clear out of your system in about a week, but Zika can be especially dangerous for pregnant women, and can cause birth defects such as microcephaly.

The Florida Department of Health is warning those who recently traveled overseas to a Zika-affected area to prevent mosquito bites for at least three weeks after they return home, and to use condoms to prevent sexually transmitted Zika.

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Ikea's New Products Look Way More Expensive Than They Are

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Ikea's design ethos is usually summed up as sleek, functional, and minimalist. But, if you think you know the furniture brand's look like the back of your hand, think again: For the month of August, the retailer is rolling out a collection of home furnishings in deep, saturated hues and golden accents — a stark departure from its typical neutral, Nordic-chic aesthetic.

The lush styling of the brand's August catalog shows us that if anything, the Swedish chain is on-trend: The millennial pink- painted rooms, flamingo decor, and abundance of palm prints evokes the Beverly Hills Hotel -inspired decor trend that's all the rage right now. Tropical touches aside, the new catalog also brings forth a few highly functional products — from sustainable dining chairs to ottomans with generous storage space — that can pass for high end designer pieces. Click through for a highlight of what will be hitting Ikea stores (and online) this coming month.

The upholstery of this armchair is removable and machine washable. The chair also comes with back pockets for extra magazine or tablet storage.

Ikea KOARP Armchair, available at Ikea in August

Photo: Courtesy of Ikea.

This vibrant rug is handwoven in wool by Indian and Bangladeshi workers guaranteed fair wages and safe working conditions.

Ikea KRÖNGE Rug, available at Ikea in August

Photo: Courtesy of Ikea.

The subdued flamingo pattern on these covers are on-trend without being over the top.

Ikea MAJBRITT Cushion cover, £4.50, available at Ikea

Photo: Courtesy of Ikea.

The perfect mood lighting doesn't have to cost you a fortune: These doubled-layered paper lamps come with small holes, so a small amount of light will shine through to create a warm ambience.

Ikea MAJORNA Floor lamp with LED Bulb, available at Ikea in August

Photo: Courtesy of Ikea.

With this brass grid frame, which comes with paper clips and hooks, curating your own photo collage is easier than ever.

Ikea MYRHEDEN Frame, £12, available at Ikea

Photo: Courtesy of Ikea.

It only takes 30 seconds to unfold this sofa into a double bed.

Ikea HAMMARN Sofa Bed, available at Ikea in August

Made with a blend of wood and recycled plastic, this chair features a bowl-shaped curve designed for prolonged periods of seating.

Ikea ODGER Chair, available at Ikea in August

Photo: Courtesy of Ikea.

The new collection also includes a number of pleated, lightweight throws designed for summer temperatures.

Ikea VÄGMÅLLA Throw, £13, available at Ikea

Photo: Courtesy of Ikea.

The gradient colours of this high pile rug compliments any wooden floors.

Ikea VINDUM Rug, available at Ikea in August

Photo: Courtesy of Ikea.

This colourful chest features different-sized drawers for your clothing storage needs.

Ikea VISTHUS Drawers, available at Ikea in August

Photo: Courtesy of Ikea.

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My Mum Came Out As A Lesbian — This Is What It Was Like

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In 2014, Jillian Stewart's mums made history when they were the first lesbian couple to be legally married in Scotland. But just because their marriage was made official three years ago, doesn't mean that these women hadn't already been living like a married couple.

Susan and Gerrie, Stewart's mums, have been together for 20 years, since Stewart was four. Both women had children from their previous marriages to men. Susan had Stewart and her older brother, Jamie, and Gerrie had three daughters of her own.

Since she was so young, Stewart had no trouble accepting that her mum was a lesbian and that they would be living with another woman and her children. But, she says in a new documentary from the BBC, she wanted to know what it was like for her older siblings and whether or not things have changed for gay parents who come out to their kids now.

In the short, 23-minute documentary, My Lesbian Mums, she set off to talk with her brother, her two older step-sisters, her mums, and Adam and Conor — a gay couple who were recently married and who had to come out to Adam's two children.

There are plenty of cute moments in the documentary, with Stewart and her brother — who was eight when their mum came out — remembering the birthday card he got for her one year. It was a baked bean card, because she was a les-bean (get it?). But there were some sad moments, too.

Not all of Stewart's siblings remember being totally happy about their mums coming out. Gerrie's daughter, Elaine, was 11 when she found out that her mum was gay and in a relationship with Susan. She says in the documentary that "society made me believe that that was such a bad thing."

Elaine tells Stewart that she had trouble in school over her sister's sexuality (she came out before her mother did) and therefore didn't tell people at school about her mum and Susan.

Unfortunately, that kind of problem hasn't been eliminated. Adam and Connor still worry about what their kids will go through at school. Although Adam's two kids, Tyler and India, have both seemed okay with their dad's sexuality and marriage to a man so far, they do sometimes ask questions like, "Daddy, why do you kiss Connor cause boys aren't supposed to kiss boys."

They worry for when their kids are in high school, and how helpless they'll both feel against their children's bullies. Stewart says in an article about the documentary that "to hear Adam and Conor still have these fears goes to show that society today hasn't really changed."

But, we'd argue that society has changed — just maybe not as much as Stewart was expecting. When her mums came out 20 years ago, a documentary like this wouldn't have existed. It wouldn't have been produced by a major national broadcasting company. And we wouldn't be writing about it. So, sure, we still have a lot of work to do to make sure that kids aren't bullied for having gay parents, or gay siblings, or being gay themselves. But things definitely have gotten better.

[H/T: PinkNews]

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The True Story Behind Kathryn Bigelow's New Film, Detroit

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Warning: If you consider historical events a spoiler, then this article is full of them.

Kathryn Bigelow’s latest film, Detroit, renders in excruciating detail one of the most disturbing events in American history: The Algiers Motel incident. Detroit spends a chunk of its two and a half hour run time in the lobby of the Algiers Motel annex, where Detroit police used brutal questioning tactics on a group of Black teenagers and white women, to horrific results.

For context, the Algiers Motel incident occurred on the evening of July 25, 1967, during the five-day period in which Detroit was subsumed by violence and lawlessness. The Detroit Uprising lasted five full days, and resulted in a slew of shocking statistics: 43 individuals dead, 1,189 injured, 7,231 arrests, and 2,509 stores burned or looted.

The riots began on the early morning of Sunday, July 23, after the vice squad of the Detroit Police Department raided a party at a “blind pig,” or an unlicensed bar, at the intersection of 12th Street and Clairmount.

Though it was 3:30 in the morning, many people were still partaking in 12th Street's vibrant nightlife scene. Consequently, a crowd of 200 spilled out onto the streets to watch as police called another van to fit the 82 partygoers, who had gathered to celebrate the homecoming of two G.I.s from Vietnam.

By 5 a.m., the crowd, incited by the police’s use of excessive force, took action. Bottles were smashed. A store was broken into. By 6:30, the first buildings were set on fire; as the day grew warmer and the winds stronger, the fires spread. Later in the day, firefighters entirely abandoned the 100 square-foot area around Twelfth Street.

In the evening, the National Guard arrived, and the mayor implemented a curfew. As police reinforcements grew, so too did arrests. Temporary jails were set up to house all of the accused.

On Tuesday, July 25 , Governor George Romney ordered 8,000 National Guardsmen and 800 police officers to the city, but the violence continued. The rebellion ended on Thursday, July 27, when president Lyndon B. Johnson sent in 4,700 paratroopers. Detroit was forever changed.

Instead of tackling the entirety of the Detroit Uprising, Bigelow's film focuses on a single event that occurred the night of July 25.

The incident, which the Detroit News called "one of the haunting tragedies of Michigan’s long history," began when authorities heard the sound of gunshots coming from the vicinity of the Algiers Motel, an institution with a reputation for housing criminal activity and prostitution.

Convinced a sniper was hiding out within the small motel annex, a task force of the Detroit police, the Michigan State Police, and the National Guard rounded up the individuals inside and questioned them using brutal interrogation tactics for hours.

In the process, Carl Cooper, 17, Fred Temple, 18, and Aubrey Pollard, 19, were all fatally shot by police. Nine more individuals were beaten and psychologically tortured. In the end, the gun the police were looking for was never found.

The three white officers who perpetrated these crimes — Ronald August, Robert Paille, and David Senak — were put on trial in 1969 for murder, conspiracy, and federal civil rights violations. The all-white jury ruled them not guilty on all charges.

Detroit captures the tension that had long been brewing between the police and the Black citizens of Detroit. As the film points out, a 95% white police force patrolled a city with a 40% Black population.

“Most African-Americans, at that time, felt that the police department was like an occupying force or an occupying army, that you had to do what they said," historian Jamon Jordan explained in a talk at the Detroit Historical Museum

That said, we can’t chalk five days of insurrection up to a single blind police raid. The rebellion was a response to systemic injustices Black individuals had been grappling with in Detroit, including shoddy housing, poor job prospects, bad schools, and inadequate social services.

These conditions were not limited to Detroit. Earlier that summer, the Black population of Newark, New Jersey, revolted for four days following a clash with police; the year prior, Cleveland also experienced similar upheaval.

“Where did such fury come from? I believe it came from nothing less than four blood-soaked centuries of American history, a history that is still being played out today,” wrote Bill Morris, author of the novel Motor City Burning, for The Daily Beast.

Fifty years have passed since the events depicted in Detroit. Still, watching the account unfold onscreen, you’ll be shaken to the core by their prescience.

As director Bigelow so aptly told to NPR, “These events seem to recur — this is a situation that was 50 years ago, yet it feels very much like it's today.”

Detroit is released in US cinemas on Friday, August 4 (UK release TBC).

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Trump Signs Russia Sanctions Bill Into Law, Makes Clear He's Unhappy About It

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Last month, the Senate overwhelmingly voted to impose sanctions on Russia in response to the country's interference in the 2016 presidential election. In an increasingly rare display of bipartisanship on Capitol Hill, senators passed the bill 97-2.

Today Donald Trump grudgingly signed the bill into law, describing it as a "seriously flawed." It was the most significant piece of legislation of his presidency, but Trump signed it with no public event. He coupled it with a written statement that accused Congress of overstepping its constitutional bounds, impeding his ability to negotiate with foreign countries and lacking any ability to strike deals.

Still, he said, "despite its problems, I am signing this bill for the sake of national unity."

The legislation is aimed at penalizing Moscow for its interference in the U.S. presidential election and its military aggression in Ukraine and Syria, where the Kremlin has backed President Bashar Assad.

Prior to the 2016 election, 17 federal intelligence agencies concluded that Russia was behind the email hacks that were designed to damage Hillary Clinton's campaign. Trump has failed to condemn the cyberattacks and repeatedly asserted that Russian interference didn't play a role in his surprising electoral college victory.

Today Russia's prime minister said the sanctions bill ends hopes for improved U.S.-Russia ties. Dmitry Medvedev wrote in a Facebook post that "Trump's administration has demonstrated total impotence by surrendering its executive authority to Congress in the most humiliating way."

Medvedev thinks the "American establishment has won an overwhelming victory over Trump" and he described the sanctions as "yet another way to put Trump in his place." The prime minister contends the new penalties amount to the declaration of an "all-out trade war against Russia."

The Russian Foreign Ministry said Moscow reserves the right to take further retaliatory measures in response to the sanctions bill.

Shutterstock/REX

The statement came not long after Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov had noted that "retaliatory measures already have been taken," a reference to Russia's decision to sharply cut the U.S. diplomatic personnel and close a U.S. recreational retreat and warehouse facilities. The Foreign Ministry is emphasizing that "we naturally reserve the right for other countermeasures."

Earlier today, House Speaker Paul Ryan said President Donald Trump's signing of sanctions legislation sends a powerful message to U.S. foes that "they will be held accountable for their actions."

Ryan's brief statement made no mention of Trump's criticism of the legislation that had passed the House overwhelmingly last week.

Ryan says the sanctions directly target "the destructive and destabilizing activities of Iran, Russia, and North Korea." The Wisconsin Republican says the United State will continue to use "every instrument of American power to defend this nation and the people we serve."

However, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi pointed out that Trump's statement blasting the Russia sanctions bill he signed into law raises serious questions about whether his administration will actually follow the law.

Pelosi said the Republican-led Congress must not allow the White House to "wriggle out of its duty to impose these sanctions for Russia's brazen assault on our democracy."

She added that "Democrats will demand tough oversight to ensure strong and immediate implementation of the sanctions law."

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Breastfeeding: Can't We All Just Get Along?

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Happy Breastfeeding Week everyone! Because, yes, that's a thing. And never has such an allegedly “natural” part of life been so steeped in negativity and controversy. As it's Breastfeeding Week, there has been an influx of media attention on the subject, with the overarching theme seeming to be frustration and misunderstanding. New mothers feel frustrated and misunderstood; experts feel that breastfeeding in general is misunderstood, which is frustrating to them; and some people STILL can't seem to get their heads around this whole breastfeeding in public thing. Despite the fact that we are relentlessly told that breastfeeding (or not) is the ultimate personal decision, every fucker out there has an opinion and will jump at the chance to tell you their thoughts on the matter.

I had my first baby in February of this year and, unbelievably, I'm still breastfeeding. I say "unbelievably" because I never saw myself as the “breastfeeding type.” Unlike many expectant mothers, I didn't have super strong feelings one way or another on the subject. But it felt like everyone I spoke to was either vehemently anti-formula and determined to breastfeed at all costs, or convinced that breastfeeding wasn't for them. I had been told relentlessly in antenatal classes that breastfeeding gives babies “the best start in life” but I didn't want to put all my eggs in that basket in case it didn't work out that way. Because here's the thing: it often doesn't work out that way.

Once a baby is born, the pressure is ON to start breastfeeding, and I mean that both literally and figuratively. A couple of hours post-labour, I was the most physically and emotionally exhausted I've ever been in my life and my baby soon made it known that she was hungry.

I held her in my arms, imitating the serene picture of the nurturing mother I'd seen on TV. I brought her to my breast, gently guided her to my nipple...aaaand it didn't work. She wildly thrashed around and the closer I pulled her, the more agitated she became. Cue the panic: I had a hungry baby, I was very tired and emotional, and this sudden feeling of inadequacy right out of the gate was the last thing I needed.

Before long, a very kind but businesslike midwife came to my hospital bed to literally MILK ME. What I didn't understand at the time is that there is no milk at that stage. Yeah, fun fact: the milk doesn't show up when the baby does, one of the first cruel lessons of motherhood. And the baby is really mad about this supply-and-demand discrepancy.

So I had a complete stranger wringing out my swollen breasts only to eke out a few teeny tiny droplets of something called colostrum (basically pre-milk) which she then scraped into a syringe and dribbled into my screaming baby's mouth. All the while I sat questioning whether I would ever be able to perform even the simplest maternal tasks, since I had stumbled so spectacularly at the first hurdle. Let’s just say it wasn’t what I had in mind.

I spent a total of five days in the hospital, for which I am forever grateful. I was able to ask questions and get advice from the amazing NHS midwives and doctors around the clock, but I found myself completely overwhelmed by the incessant chat about breastfeeding. I was having a very hard time doing it and the constant stream of personnel with conflicting advice, passive-aggressive accusations (“Think baby is hungry!”) and stern looks almost sent me over the edge.

The moment that changed it all, though, happened at around 3am on my third night in hospital. I was at the end of my rope: my milk still hadn't “come in” and I constantly worried my baby was going to starve. I was sore, exhausted and disappointed, and positive that I was failing my child. She was crying (I probably was, too) and one of the overnight midwives came in and said “Would you like to give her a bottle of formula?” This sounds silly, but up until that moment the pressure to breastfeed was so intense that it didn't even occur to me that there was another option. It was as if that midwife handed me a golden ticket, a free pass to a few hours' sleep without the stress of a starving child playing on my mind. In that moment, I would have paid a million pounds for that bottle.

So I gave my baby the formula, we both went to sleep and, in the weeks that followed, things got easier and I was able to breastfeed. I stuck with it, obviously because I wanted to give my baby “the best start” but also because (truth be told) I was tired and lazy and it eventually became easier to stick her on my boob at 4am than to sterilise a bottle, boil the kettle and mix up a batch of formula. And now I'm part of the 1% of the population in the UK still exclusively breastfeeding at six months, all because I made the choice to supplement with formula in the early weeks when I needed it most.

So many women and their babies struggle to participate in this supposedly “beautiful” and “natural” part of the lifecycle, and all the well-meaning information out there actually stacks up to make us feel like failures. An oft-repeated (and false) statistic, presumably meant to calm anxious mothers-to-be, is that “only 1-5% of women are unable to breastfeed.” There are many different scenarios that cause a baby to be unable to breastfeed: insufficient milk supply, tongue-tie (where the baby is born unable to latch), illness and good old-fashioned pain, to name a few.

As new mothers, we are sternly warned that formula is inferior to breastmilk and that “topping up” or supplementing with formula will cause a chain reaction that will result in your body ceasing to produce milk. Now, I know it's different for everyone but I have to say I had no problem whatsoever, and in fact the supplemental formula feeds in the early days gave me a much-needed break (mentally and physically), which in turn gave me the energy to keep trying to breastfeed. I couldn't have done it without them and nothing that I've read even mentions this as an option.

The moral of the story is this: I believe everyone needs to lighten up a little. The Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health and other health experts wrote a letter to The Guardian this week, in which they lamented the low breastfeeding rates in the UK and attributed them to a number of factors: ambivalence about women's bodies, underestimating the value of breastmilk vs. formula, lack of education, societal perception, etc.

All that may be true, and I certainly agree that “barriers need to be overturned” but honestly, I can't help but feel that if there weren't such intense pressure – such an “all or nothing” attitude towards breastfeeding – so many more women would be open to it. As an independent working mother, I know the thought of being completely tethered to a baby for six months with no alternative is truly terrifying, and the idea that breastfeeding makes it impossible for a partner to pitch in at all with feeding is a tough pill to swallow for any feminist. For me, the flexibility I had even just knowing formula feeds were an option and that my baby would accept them totally saved me, especially when my husband offered to administer them.

As you go about your day today, take a look at your friends, colleagues and partners. Can you tell who among us was formula-fed and who was breastfed? Didn't think so. Of course breastfeeding has its amazing benefits. Of course we need to educate people, eliminate stigma and encourage breastfeeding. But can't we be a little more flexible about it? To all my ladies out there who are struggling, panicking or feeling the pressure, I say: do it your way. Give yourself some flexibility. Take control and do what's right for you, your baby will thank you for it.

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