I think we can all agree that, over the past few years, the wellness epidemic has got a bit out of control.
Whether it's shiny stickers that boost your mood (thanks Goop!) or jade eggs that go in your vagina (again, Goop), paying upwards of £590 for transcendental meditation or burning the poisonous venom of a Peruvian tree frog into your ankle in a bid to make you vomit, it's safe to say things have got a little out of hand.
Nevertheless, our collective search for a higher plane continues, and with treatments like cryotherapy (freezing yourself) and eating plans like the Ketogenic diet growing in popularity, it's clear we're willing to invest in just about anything that claims to make us look and feel better. And if we get a good Instagram picture out of it along the way then, hey, that's just an added bonus.
Here are some of the more bizarre things people are trying in their search to achieve "peak wellness".
Forest Bathing
In Japan, forest bathing (shinrin-yoku) has been around for years. In fact, according to The Atlantic, it's actually been part of their national health programme since 1982.
According to shinrin-yoku.org, the concept is as follows: "If a person simply visits a natural area and walks in a relaxed way there are calming, rejuvenating and restorative benefits to be achieved."
TBF, there are a lot of scientific studies to back up forest bathing. A review of these studies in 2010 found that yes, indeed, forest bathing appears to lower pulse rate and blood pressure, and helps to relax you.
Now, it's taking off in the US. The Association of Nature & Forest Therapy is aiming to have 1,000 guides trained in the next three years.
The concept of forest bathing isn't silly. Clearly, getting back to nature is a good thing. Our lives are hectic; we work in confined spaces where the air is poorly recycled; in cities, air pollution is rife; ditto for light pollution.
What is silly, though, is that we've had to put a label on something that should be natural. Spending time in the beauty of nature shouldn't be a "therapy" we undertake to offset the chaos of the rest of our lives but sadly that seems to be the kind of world we've created. What are we like?
Photo: Shutterstock
Vaginal Steaming
Obviously Goop was going to pop up on this list at some point. Vaginal steaming shot to popularity back in 2015 when your main guru of mad wellness concepts, Gwyneth Paltrow's website recommended a Mugworth V-Steam at a spa in Malibu called Tikkun with the tagline "Heal yourself, heal the world" (really).
The V-Steam consists of a "combination of infrared and mugwort steam [that] cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release – not just a steam douche – that balances female hormone levels."
Doctors say, however, that steaming your vagina is not a good idea. In fact, it could be a very bad idea. Dr. Ann Robinson told The Guardian that the treatment "cannot possibly impact on hormone levels". She also said that "water can wash away natural oils, leaving the vagina poorly lubricated and more prone to cuts and irritation. Thrush, caused by an overgrowth of candida, thrives on warm, damp conditions, so is a definite risk from steaming".
However, self-confessed "holistic beauty junkie" Geri Hirsch told Well + Good that a V-Steam actually "stimulates that area and warms you up". So maybe that's what the Goop girls were loving?
Tikkun no longer offers the treatment.
Photo: Eylul Aslan
Crying Seminars
We used to do this organically. Wait until two days before your period, turn your phone off, switch on something godawful like The Notebook and drink red wine until you cry and cry and cry and cry. It was marvellously self-indulgent.
In Japan, though, crying is a big ask. Takashi Suga, a 'tear sommelier', says that "crying doesn't have a good image in Japan" and "people believe you shouldn't cry in front of people, that it's weak".
And so he's taken it upon himself to match his clients to things that make them cry, in the same way a wine sommelier would match wines to foods. Songs (Whitney Houston, apparently), books and films all come together to create an environment for people to sob in. An action which, according to Takashi, lifts people's burdens and allows them to feel better in the long run than if they just had a good laugh.
The Womb Room
Anyone who's watched the Lily Collins-starring controversial new Netflix film To The Bone will have felt more than a little uncomfortable during the (spoiler but I don't care) scene where a mother feeds her 20-year-old daughter with a bottle. At a certain point, kids, it's OK for that bond to be broken.
A "womb room" goes one step further, though. What's more comforting than the idea of hanging out in your mother's womb? Well, hopefully, once you reach a certain age, most things.
This didn't stop Corallium Spa in Gran Canaria from creating a red room designed to "re-create the journey of life starting with where it all began: the womb".
The room came complete with red water beds designed to mimic the amniotic sac (really), and a pink entranceway designed to pay homage to the opening of the uterus; even better, the room revolved slowly in a way that somehow represented the umbilical cord.
There are still pictures of the womb room on Corallium's website although, sadly, no mention of it as a treatment.
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